Building my Confident Heart

A couple of weeks ago I was able to go on a women's retreat with my church. I was so excited to get away for a couple of days and spend some time with my mom and some dear friends of mine. We had a very special guest speaker who shared her amazing testimony, what God has brought her through and blessed her with in this life. At one point during the first day we had some time to just get by ourselves and have some quiet time with God. We could read, pray, do whatever it was that we needed to do to get that time in that we needed. After this quiet time I decided to check Facebook. As I'm scrolling along I come across a post by Proverbs 31 ministries. They are beginning a new online bible study with a new book called "A Confident Heart." I decided it would be worth looking into because who doesn't want to say they have a confident heart? So I look a little further into what this book is all about, and I come across these words: "Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough, smart enough, or valuable enough?" Well... yeah sometimes. "Do words you say to yourself, or hear from others, make you question your worth and purpose?" Hmm, I guess you could say that. Okay, so I'm hooked. I decide to buy the kindle version of the book so I can have it on my phone and start reading it right away. I start reading it, and the forward is by one of my favorite people, Lysa TerKerst. In short, she basically describes her desperate need for her father's love as a child and his rejection. Because of this, as an adult she was full of insecurities and shame. (Cue tears starting to form in my eyes). As a result, she begins to try to find someone or something to fill this void in her life that would make her feel significant, worthwhile, and secure. She writes,

"It was as if I carried around a little heart shaped cup and held it out to whatever or whomever I perceived might fill it...But the reality is, every single thing the world offers is temporary. No person, possession, profession, or position can ever fill the cup of a wounded, insecure heart-not my heart, not your heart. It's an emptiness only God can fill. Only God can give true confidence."

Surprise

On September 18th I decided to write a letter to my husband. I was in the middle of typing out a "Have I told you today..." text and I stopped and thought about the last time I had hand written him something. We have done that a few times back and forth and haven't  in awhile. So, I decided to revitalize our note writing and take it up a notch and mail him a letter to make it even more special and surprising. Of course, when I publish this he will already have received the letter so to not ruin the surprise since he does read my blog. However, here is the letter that I wrote to my dear husband. (And now that I'm publishing this SO much later, he decided to wait to tell me he received my letter for about a week after he did receive it, and he wrote me and surprised me back.)

My Dearest Jon,